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Who do you believe yourself to be?
Take a moment and think about it. Do you believe yourself to be beautiful? Worthy? Or do you believe yourself to be ugly, fat, unworthy and not good enough? Pay attention to your thoughts for a moment, a day or a week to get a good idea of what your self-talk is all about.
Some of you may hear, “I can’t quit coffee, pop or alcohol”, “I can’t lose weight”, “I’m not good enough”, “I’m not smart enough”, or “I can’t do this.” Thoughts like these all come from your subconscious mental chatter, the chatter that reinforces your beliefs about yourself. By allowing your mind to run rampant with thoughts like these, your chances for change and growth dwindle. The good news is that simply paying attention to these thoughts dissolves their power over you and makes room for improved self-talk.
Go get a piece of paper and a pen. Ok, now don’t read any further, go get a piece of paper and a pen. Do you have them? You must do this exercise for it to work. Now begin by writing, I am ___________write down on that piece of paper everything that is already inside of you that you want to bring out. If it is a thinner version of the beautiful you, write down I am thin, if it is healthy that you want to bring out, write down I am healthy, if it is mental clarity you wish to cultivate, write down I am quick witted and have mental clarity.
Now develop all that you would like to see from your best self into a mantra that you will always have to sooth yourself and reassure yourself that all you need is already inside of you, it just needs to be cultivated. Think of your mantra as a seed that when you repeat it enough with feelings and deep emotion it will grow and overtake the weeds of negative thought that no longer suit you. It should resonate with you and make you feel good. If it makes you feel guilty, throw it away and start over until you have a mantra that is soothing and reassuring.
It may read something like this, “I have all that I need inside of me, my body feels light, slim and energetic, my mind is sharp, my skin is fresh and young looking and my body has found its own wonderful balance.”
Now visualize yourself doing things that will bring about the changes you wish to see. It doesn’t have to be dramatic and all at once, go slowly, it may be something as simple as visualizing what life would be like on only one cup of coffee per day. Visualize the changes you wish to see; what do you look like? Your skin? Your arms, your ankles your toes, your fingernails? Spend a good amount of time doing this. Once you have the picture of the outer you in your mind, spend twice as much time feeling and imaging the inner you. Are you kind? Patient? Are you sharp and witty or calm and peaceful? Do you have a light heart and a sense of humor? Are you loving and open? If something scares you, that’s ok. This is a great way to get to know yourself, and if you don’t like what you find that’s ok, be gentle and loving and accepting.
Pay attention to what goes on in your mind and when it ventures to a thought that no longer suits you, gently return its attention to a pleasant visualization of your best self.
Cultivate good feelings. It is important that you feel the feelings of having what you desire. It is these good feelings that will drive you to succeed and take action. When you have 2 eggs or fruit for breakfast instead of a pastry, feel your body responding to your healthy new choices, wallow in those good feelings as much as possible. When you do this your mind and actions will be more likely to follow those good feelings. You don’t even have to take action to cultivate good feelings, simply closing your eyes and imagining what it would feel like to be 10 pounds lighter, a little bit braver, more energetic.even saying the words is enough to illicit a response and a wonderful feeling if you choose the right words. I am healthy, I am thin, I am sharp, witty and at peace with who I am, are all mini mantras that can really work well at cultivating good feelings. It is important that you feel the feeling of being as you want to be, if you can see it and you can feel it, you can achieve it.
Limit Your Exposure to Negative Things
Avoid the news or other negative shows and movies. Watch movies like The Secret and What The Bleep Do We Know to reinforce the importance of loving yourself and cultivating good feelings.
Follow Inspired Action
Each morning when you wake up, spend 10 minutes visualizing your best self with as many details as you can. See yourself smiling, laughing and doing the things that bring you joy. Do this in the car when you are stuck in traffic or at the kid’s baseball game. The more you visualize yourself as you want to be and feel the feelings associated with it, the sooner change will happen. Be open to what presents itself that day; if the voice in your head is telling you to do something try to be open to doing it. This is very important because all action taken when you are thinking about, visualizing and feeling good things will generally bring good things to you.
This can be a very scary thing. You may feel guilty about what you want or how you want to look and sabotage yourself so that you won’t be different or uncomfortable. The thought of life without your addictions may seem like it will be lonely, empty and not fun, when just the opposite is true.
Often when you make changes friends and family may not understand, if your friends are overweight often subconsciously they may try to sabotage you to keep you at their level of comfort in an effort to maintain the bonds that have been created over the years, especially if you have been overindulging together.
At first it is difficult to go against the grain but over time a new norm will develop. If you always had mud pie for desert, the first few times you don’t, your friends may question you and even pressure you; “you always have mud pie, you love mud pie!” “Why aren’t you having mud pie?” “One piece surely will not kill you?” At first this can be very uncomfortable but if you stick to your guns, a few months will pass and a new norm will develop. Your friends will accept that you now eat differently and no longer will they pressure you.
Friends will begin to notice that you look great and feel great and will ask questions about what you are doing. Some may be jealous and continue the efforts to sabotage you; eliminating these negative people from your life will prevent you from getting side tracked. Other people may want to join you on your journey to vibrant health and new friends may be picked up along the way.
If you see yourself as overweight, unhealthy and unmotivated, that is how you will be. If you always berate yourself for what you do or don’t do and dislike yourself, change will be very difficult. But, if you can see the value in loving who you are, making peace with where you are now, and reaching for something that feels better, healthier and resonates with who you really are, your life will become magical. Writing things on paper makes it real and is something that you can look at everyday for a kind and wonderful reminder of the new path that you have chosen.
Being vigilant and letting go of old thoughts that no longer suit you is easy once you learn how to pay attention to them and shift away from them. The key to success is truly in loving who you are, acknowledging your best self, feeling the good feelings that come from that and taking inspired action to take you where you want to go.
Life is a journey, it is supposed to be fun, it is supposed to be abundant and above all else it is supposed to reveal to us who we really are, and who we really are is absolutely fantastic!
“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t–you’re right.”
– Henry Ford
Finding Your Best Self