There’s a growing movement online that many parents haven’t heard of—but young people probably have. It’s called incel culture, short for “involuntary celibate.” And while it might sound like just another internet subculture, it’s part of a much larger, much more dangerous trend.
Incel communities are made up mostly of young men who believe they are owed romantic or sexual attention from women—and that not receiving it is a kind of injustice. What starts as venting frustration can quickly spiral into blaming, hating, and dehumanizing women. These spaces often overlap with alt-right platforms, where conspiracy theories, toxic masculinity, and white supremacy are also being shared and reinforced.
“Incel culture preys on isolation; it turns vulnerability into resentment. It gives young people—especially teen boys—a script that blames women for their pain and glorifies anger as power,” shares Linsey Lunny, CEO of Hidden Strength.
The Alt-Right Connection
Over the past decade, the alt-right (a far-right movement associated with nationalism, racism, and misogyny) has become increasingly skilled at recruiting young people. They do it through memes, YouTube videos, and online communities that feel like “insider clubs.” At first glance, these groups can seem harmless or even funny. But beneath the surface is a constant stream of messages encouraging hate, violence, and a warped view of the world.
Incel culture fits right in.
The alt-right often portrays men as victims of feminism, diversity, and social progress. Incels take this a step further, claiming that women’s empowerment has created a world where only a few “attractive” men can find love, and the rest are doomed to be ignored forever. These beliefs are steeped in bitterness and a sense of entitlement—and the consequences can be deadly.
“What starts as loneliness can quickly harden into entitlement, creating a worldview where empathy is weakness and connection feels out of reach,” continues Lunny.
This isn’t just an “online problem.” In recent years, several men who identified as incels have committed mass violence in the name of revenge. They’ve targeted women, couples, and entire communities. What began as online complaints about dating turned into real-world tragedy.
These forums don’t just allow hateful rhetoric—they encourage it. They tell young men that violence is a reasonable response to rejection, that women are the enemy, and that they’re part of a larger, noble fight. It’s a form of radicalization, plain and simple.
And because it’s happening quietly, under the radar, many families never realize what’s going on until it’s too late.
Why It’s So Dangerous to Normalize
When we laugh off these communities as “just sad guys online” or dismiss the warning signs as boys just being boys, we risk allowing this culture to grow stronger. The normalization of hatred—especially against women—is never harmless. It sends a message that anger and entitlement are acceptable ways to deal with emotions and relationships.
The danger lies in how quickly these ideas can take root, especially during adolescence when identity, belonging, and frustration are all heightened. If young men don’t have safe, healthy spaces to talk about their struggles, they’ll find communities that promise answers—even if those answers are steeped in hate.
Lunny adds an important point, “When teens are taught that rejection is humiliation and that intimacy is something owed to them, they grow up disconnected from the emotional intelligence that real connection requires. We don’t need more rage—we need to teach belonging, respect, and self-worth.”
This isn’t about blaming young men—it’s about protecting them from falling into a toxic pipeline that preys on their insecurities. And it’s about creating a culture where respect, empathy, and accountability are the norm.
Because if we want a future where our kids feel safe, valued, and understood, we have to talk about the things that threaten that future—even when it’s uncomfortable.
