People think that because I am a nutritional therapist my body always runs like a finely tuned machine. Of course this is not always the case, as sometimes my digestion gets a little sluggish. This is my body’s way of telling me that I am not eating enough vegetables or drinking enough water.

Now let me tell you a little story. Get ready for some wonderful TMI 🙂

With a romantic dinner on the horizon with my sweetheart, I didn’t feel like waiting for my digestion to catch up by consuming copious amounts of veggies and water. However, I wanted to feel thin and light and energetic for my date, not constipated and weighed down. So I decided to try a time-honored tradition to speed things along: prune juice.

I drank about 8 ounces of prune juice at approximately 6am. Forty-five minutes later, bingo! Pardon my bluntness, but yes, the steak and chicken from the last two nights of my veggie neglect were cleansed out of me. Feeling satisfied, I did a little bit of work and decided to go back bed.

Next thing I knew, I had the urgent need to get to the bathroom. Was I awake? Or, was I dreaming? You know how sometimes you dream that you have to go to the bathroom, but you know you are dreaming and briefly contemplate whether you can pee in your dream or need to get up because you really have to go? This is where I was. Who would have thought going back to bed would have been such a gamble.

Unsure whether I was in reality or the 5th dimension, all I knew was that my body was going to blow soon. Next thing I know I am walking along this trail with two girls behind me. I bent over and let it go. To one of the girl’s horrific dismay, I released my pent up prune juice all over her. My eyes flew open and I lay frozen in my bed. “Did I just relieve myself in bed?” A little movement proved my pajamas were clean and I had not soiled myself, but if I didn’t get to the bathroom soon I certainly would.

I got the sweats for the next six hours as the gas from the fermenting prune juice grumbled through my digestive tract. The constipated, heavy feeling was replaced with gas and bloating. Several times throughout the day I felt uncertain if the bloated feeling was going to be released as a gas or more of the explosive diarrhea. I kept close to the bathroom for safety’s sake.

By the time I was ready for my romantic dinner, I still felt uncertain whether the gas moving through my intestines was really gas. I did not want to let it out for fear of soiling myself. I mean, who could think of anyone romantically again if such an event occurred? Ok, I would, but there aren’t very many people like me who could see the humor in a situation like this. The only problem was, I couldn’t really laugh about it without releasing pent up prune juice!

The moral of this story is…. next time, I think I will eat my veggies and drink my water. And I will follow my own advice that an apple a day really can keep constipation at bay. Because believe me, prune juice is not for the faint of heart!

Have you ever had a similar experience?

5 thoughts on “Prune Juice: Not for the Faint of Heart

  1. I found this site when researching the effects of Prune Juice after suffering what seems like identical effects and was amused by your account coupled with my owmn misadventure!
    I have been dieting and ignoring some essential elements of my regular diet which is largely healthy but suffered a few days of difficult motions. My Mom suggested Prune Juice and that appealed for its healthy nature though had never tested its laxative effects.
    I had a medium sized glass of the juice early on a recent Saturday morning, thinking I need to get certain relief I followed up with a second glass, probably drinking almost half of the litre bottle. Feeling I was serving myself well I went about my morning regime and planned to go shopping once it worked. Around an hour later after a second cup off coffee I had a sudden nagging urge and made a rather hurried skip to the loo and was rewarded with an extended clearing of my bowels, really quite intense but seemingly very complete.Much relived and lighter and trimmer I decided to head out earlier and was already ready to hit the stores so finished my hair and floated down the stairs of my apartment to drive to the palaces of retail adventure.
    I was barely half way into the 30 minute drive to the Mall when some gdeep rumbles and a dull ache above my pelvic bone ushered a sudden realisation that I need the Bathroom again now! Traffic was fairly light and the urgency of my dilemma left me with a choice of carry on or turn around and rush home. I thankfully chose the latter.
    I somehow managed to clench tense,squeeze and prey my way back to my parking space without losing control and resolved to dash for my front door up two flights of stairs.
    I made it to my front door and grappling with keys and shaking hands had key in lock as my bowels decided enough was enough and opening the door the intense ache low in my stomach intensified and a realisation hit me that my nearly new skinny jeans were filling with a rapidly spreading warmth mixed with a strange relief in both an upward and downward direction, I was rooted to the spot just inside my front door counting the blessing that I was not outside it and that my apartment has hard flooring! I was in no part able to control what was occuring and resigned myself as I liquid evacuated what felt like a gallon of hot liquid into my tight jeans.
    More bemused and even slightly amused by the horror of my journey home and fear for car seats, public humiliation or worse I felt tha last gassy gush bubble from my rear as a sensation of a dribbling rivulet trickled down my left ankle. I wadled to the shower, steping in fully dressed and discarding my upper clothing safely unto the bathroom floor I closed the door and stood showering succsesively stepping out of my Prune juice soaked skinnies and washing myself and rinsing until everything ran clear and the whole apartment had a scent of my shower gel. That was not the end of the effects of the prune juice but it kept me rooted in the appartment then rest of the day! Pleased I found your article it gave me a giggle.

    1. I’m so laughing right now! Thank you so much for sharing! As you can guess, we are not alone in the prune juice adventures!

  2. Very welcome and thanks for posting my comment though afraid someone who knows me may one day read it through my bexties have already had serious fun, made the mistake of confessing to one a d now I am seriously the butt of humour! Plus side I got a few stories to giggle at in return. Always hilarious when it’s someone else with the runs! Lol.

    1. Ha! Ha! The butt of humor and the runs! Lol! Connecting with you has made my whole adventure worth it! XxxOoo…You can post on my site anytime. 😉

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