Sex Coach Kim Anami Says Do This After Exiting a Toxic Relationship
As devotees of Kim Anami can tell you, she’s all about enjoying healthy, happy sex — and lots of it. But not even a fabulous sex life can’t make up for a noxious relationship.
It’s a simple and powerful truth, but it’s also one that’s easy to lose sight of. Especially when you find yourself trapped in a toxic relationship — where nothing is about you and everything is about them — it can be difficult to bounce back.
Difficult, yes. Impossible? Absolutely not — if you can learn how to let good sex be your Rx.
Just remember: In the Anami-sphere, “A conscious, gourmet sex relationship requires both people to be actively participating. It doesn’t work if one person is consistently putting in more effort than the other. The magic only happens when both people dive deep and commit to 150% effort.”
Kim Anami: There Is Life After Toxic Love
Once you’re out of a bad relationship, Kim Anami acknowledges it’s normal to experience a major rush of relief, just don’t expect your emotional hard drive to automatically reboot itself overnight. If you’ve been locked into a long-term sexual relationship that’s been routinely colored by bad energy over an extended period of time, it will also take time to clear away that negative charge. The good news, however, is that you can channel your sexuality into a positive healing force to get your mojo back.
Kim Anami touts sexual energy as a great cleanser and rebirther. “Sexual energy is our life force energy,” she explained, “[but it’s also] a very overlooked healing modality. Sex really is medicine — or at least the kind of sex that I teach (as opposed to the ‘bust off an orgasm to go to sleep kind of sex’).” According to Anami, the aforementioned deeper kind — or “Tantric-style, gourmet sex” — is where the true healing power lies. “Interestingly enough, I think that after that kind of toxic, difficult situation, there are levels of healing and nurturing that need to happen, but we can actually get that through our sexual energy.”
A Vaginal Kung Fu Post-Traumatic Success Story
In the course of leading a “conscious self-pleasuring practice,” Kim Anami has employed numerous sexual healing techniques to restore and reinvigorate her clients’ sex lives. “In my salons, I go through all kinds of different adjunct healing modalities and practices that help us to really tap into and harness our sexual energy and use it more and more as this creative and regenerative power,” she explained.
One sexual healing success story Kim Anami cites is the experience of experience of Well-F–ked All-Star Katie, who says she was able to recover from the trauma of sexual abuse primarily through the use of a jade yoni egg and the techniques she learned in Anami’s Vaginal Kung Fu salon. “I couldn’t touch myself because of a longstanding history of childhood sexual trauma. Whenever I would touch myself, or a partner would, on those very few occasions where I would let that happen, I would immediately have a PTSD response,” Katie recalled.
Because Katie’s abuser traumatized her with his hands, being touched in that way immediately triggered a shutdown. She’d tried a number of healing modalities but none of them worked. Katie finally got to the point where she’d given up. “I was just always going to be broken in this way,” she’d decided.
But when she discovered Kim Anami’s Vaginal Kung Fu salon, everything turned around. “That … first time I said, ‘OK, I’ve tried everything else, maybe I’ll try this jade egg thing. Maybe I can actually do this and heal this. Maybe I could be at a place where I could touch myself. Is that possible for me?’” She wasn’t sure, but she was willing to try.
“In recovering from sexual abuse, using the jade egg is a beautiful way to ease into self-guided penetration, especially for women who are rebuilding trust with their own vagina — and those who have ‘vaginas on lockdown’ — which is a very obvious symptom of sexual abuse that hasn’t been cleared,” Anami explains.
In that moment, when she decided to go down that healing path, Katie tapped into an internal force bigger than herself and bigger than her emotional injuries. “I believe that we all have this space inside of us that is bigger than any pain, than any trauma, that wants to heal us more than the power of the pain or the power of the trauma,” Katie said. “If we can tap into that, that can start pulling us forward, and that’s what started pulling me forward on the beginning of that healing journey.”
Through applications such as yoni massage, lingam massage, and her signature jade egg workouts, Kim Anami has been able to help her clients clear away traumatic energy, learn to rebuild confidence, restore the ability to trust, give themselves permission enjoy true intimacy, and reunite themselves with the parts of their emotional personae they’d lost in order to love themselves again.