No matter who you are or what gender you identify as, there will always be stereotypes that society places on people. Historically, mental health issues have been taboo or a sign of weakness for everyone, but especially for men. Being a man has always meant that you have to be strong, many times bottling up your emotions. You can’t be too sensitive, too emotional, or too feminine. The stigma surrounding mental health affects everyone, but for men they are told to never share how they truly feel. Imagine how isolating that is.
Did you know that 60% of men do not really share their feelings or express themselves? This oftentimes does more harm than good. Locking your emotions inside can cause you to feel alone, depressed and anxious, furthering mental health issues. It’s a double standard that puts men at risk. Instead, men deserve to feel like they can still be a “man” while sharing their feelings. Having an avenue where they can share their thoughts and emotions without ridicule will help them feel validated. Perhaps focusing on male friendships is the key to becoming fully in tune with yourself and your emotions.
Jim Hight delves deeper into this theme in his debut novel, “Moon Over Humboldt.” He draws on his own personal experiences to show just how powerful male friendships are, and how being a man is more than just being tough and bottling up emotions.
“In Moon Over Humboldt, I show how a man’s strong friendship with another man can encourage and inspire him to work through his toughest challenges. I explore how men are conditioned to hide their fears and vulnerability, especially from other men, and the ways that 12-step programs enable men to experience the therapeutic power of emotional intimacy.”
Being a man is more than just being strong. It actually takes a strong man to show his emotions and feelings, because that is what helps form connections. Whether it’s a familial relationship, romantic relationship or friendships, growth happens when people share who they really are. If you are not showing your emotions, how can someone really understand and know you on a deeper level? The answer is they can’t.
Having strong emotions and feelings is a natural part of who we are as human beings. No matter what gender you identify as, it’s all a part of us. It’s important to break free from the stereotypes society makes up, because they are just that…made up. Feelings can be difficult for us to share and feel, but it’s what connects us together and helps us learn and grow.
“Moon Over Humboldt isn’t about a bunch of angels. I portray men realistically. We are often selfish, driven by our libido, arrogant, prideful, and even violent. Yet Bill and Jonah and my other male characters are called by their hearts—and by their friends in recovery—to grow and become their best selves.”
Jim Hight’s book debut’s in August. He highlights how having friends can point you in the right direction of life. Everyone needs people to help them grow and learn, and friendships are one of the best ways to do that. Being close with people and forming connections, teaches you things about yourself that maybe you would not have learned on your own. Investing time in friendships can help people feel fully seen and heard, and that’s what really counts. Friendships are not always rainbows and butterflies, but they go way beyond the good and the easy. They really get down to how people are truly feeling and give them a sense of compassion and love.
Being a man is not just one thing. You can be strong and emotional, or smart and sensitive all at the same time. These words are not mutually exclusive. It’s time to break free from the stigma surrounding men’s mental health and open up a new avenue of inclusion. It’s time to take the first steps to expressing yourself!
