Making good decisions by living a productive life of leadership, and fulfillment



“Change your thoughts and change your world.” ~Norman Vincent Peal. 

Why do we need constant motivation. This quote above reminds me to be vigilant in staying focused. I strongly believe we all need repetition to stay motivated. This following story from Zig Ziglar is a great example.

After a motivating speech one day, Zig Ziglar was approached by someone in the audience who said:
“Zig, it was a great speech, but…motivation doesn’t last.” Zig said in reply, “Bathing doesn’t either. That’s why I recommend it daily!” 

We all have bad days but remember, just because you have a bad day does not mean you have to have a bad life. When we get down, we sometimes need a quick pick me up, so come back to this site weekly and get a breath of fresh air because, if you love Life, life will love you back! I like to call it Caring Karma. Yes, it’s cheesy but the idea is a great way to live.

How do we do this? Know that the more you focus on yourself, the more miserable you will feel. Those who are happy are those who focus on those around them by helping someone have a better day. Life has no remote, so get up, get involved and you will find yourself changing and improving by helping others and then you will be able to watch it all come back to you! 

So, feel free to return weekly to revitalize and stay motivated about life and your personal goals. Remember: “Time flies. It is up to you to be the navigator.” ~Robert Orben


Why Leadership is manifest in loving others.


According to the oxford web dictionary: “Leadership defined is the ability of an individual or a group of individuals to influence and guide followers or other members of an organization.”

If we want to be greatest leader, according to the bible, in Matt 20:36: Jesus says, “the greatest among us should be the servant of all.” Let me tell you why I believe this to be a true principle. When we love others, we want to serve them. This seems to be the opposite of what many feel leadership is. When we love others, that feeling is precipitated, and we start to feel a connection with those around us. We feel other’s love as we come to love other’s passion and drive for fulfillment. A common goal for the advancement of everyone in your group, family or company can unite us together in love.

We all have great different gifts and a great potential but if never given the opportunity to shine, we won’t have the confidence when thrust into a job without any preparation. for example, years ago, my wife asked to assist a president of an auxiliary organization. She was excited and had a lot of ideas but was never asked to help. She along with another assistant who was anxious to help were told that the president was doing everything and had things under control. She would let them know if she needed anything. They both quickly lost their enthusiasm and realized that she would never delegate anything, so they ended up going through the motions.

When we want a guaranteed success, we might often be tempted to just take over or to micromanage those we have stewardship over. They, in turn will feel their abilities are not being used or know that if they let down, you have their back and will pick up the pieces, so they don’t take charge. If this is how we lead, those we work with will never learn how to do the job. A few years ago, I became a new leader, replacing someone who oversaw a physical facility basketball program. I happened to know the person that had been asked to run the program and said, you know more than me. You run your program as you know best and let me know how I can help. They did ask for my help but felt empowered by my giving them the main responsibility and we ended up having a great year. Later, the head of the organization told me, she loved how I let her run with it, just giving support where needed. The person before me had micromanaged every decision and shadowed them until they kind of hated their job. The friendship and connection we felt, working as a team helped us feel connected and maintain friendships for years to come.

  Our goal should be to help them use their potential and feel the confidence that they are being trained to replace you down the line or if needed. Nothing will bring you more genuine praise or glowing reviews in those you have been given responsibility for as you give them the tools to run and give them a chance to succeed without your constant micromanagement of looking over their shoulders. Leadership is fulfilling because you have helped others feel rewarding confidence by a job well done. Having a successful company, event or achievement can be hollow if you accomplish it alone. It’s knowing that you have helped those you are responsible for and the resulting friendship, connection and love that brings lasting fulfillment.


Why do we practice self-betrayal?


If we know what makes us happy, then why do we practice self-betrayal? Why do we do things that sabotage our drive for greatness? We often chalk it up to human nature that we often sacrifice our long-term goals by letting down for a day or putting off what needs to get done to party just for the day. Why? We may feel we can do both and still accomplish our goal down the road. The conflict comes from our inner values. How much our principles of truth within our inner core are contrasting with our actual behavior. If we feel one way but act another, we lose confidence in ourselves by practicing what I call “self-betrayal”. By going against what we know to be right deep within ourselves for the pleasure of the moment, because it’s fun, or feels good or seems like a good escape from life. The problem is that every choice comes with consequences, both positive and negative. When we make a poor choice by releasing some stress or by giving up our goals temporarily, it can cause more let downs and side diversions to continue in the future. We need to keep a long-road vision or goal in the back of our mind. We need to daily remind ourselves mentality instead of just thinking about the moment. I’ve heard it said that we often give up what we want most for what we can have now. To put it another way, Success Leader, Jim Rohn, said: “We must all suffer from one of two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret.” 


This does not mean that we can’t let our hair down occasionally, take some time off, vacation or enjoy time doing one of our hobbies. If life is worth living, we need to keep a sense of humor, spend time with those we love, go to a sporting event, concert, or travel. That is different than doing something that goes against the truths you believe or that conflict with your inner core. Those decisions are things we often consciously do when we give into self-betrayal, thinking we can make it up or just ignore that it happened. 


It’s true that some of life’s greatest battles have been won or lost within a one’s own mind, therefore we need to constantly charge our physical battery and reach deep within to find ways to motivate ourselves. Our greatest challenge sometimes is to get inside our own head to determine what makes us tick? That’s what motivation is all about! When making and working on your goals, review them daily to stay motivated. 

You are your best creative force or your own worst enemy.  The solution. Within the private core of one’s own values a conscience waits with determination to cast off the old unwanted habits and to measure up to the stature of our own true potential. Every day we need some quiet time to ponder, or practice meditation and continue to tap into this [positive voice and then chart out a course of action. ​​In short, review your goals daily and don’t sacrifice that time to ponder to stay motivated and succeed in life! 


The Four E’s of Learning


We are all leaders who teach others daily, whether we know it or not. Any position of responsibility or partnership is leading others one way or another. As spouses, parents, colleagues, friends, as members of a family or a team. Just as we all have different gifts or strengths, we all learn and teach in many different ways. There are four generalized categories that almost all learning falls into. The four main styles or ways of learning, we will simply call the four E’s. they are:

  1. Exhortation. 
  2. Explanation. 
  3. Example and
  4. Experience. 

We learn from all four, but they are not equal in effectiveness. If we chose the one with the most weight, it would be example. There is a popular phrase we hear that says, what you do speaks so loudly, I can’t hear what you are saying. We all have known people we look up to or watch because of their good or bad example. Another author has said, “the only authority to which the young will respect today is example.” I have found that to be true in my teaching career. Most students are great at picking out hypocrisy in watching what is done and comparing it to what they see. If the actions don’t match the advice, they shut down or turn away all together making the teacher ineffective.

 I have picked as the title of my own bibliography as “What not to do in most situations.” Why? First, is my sense of humor, it makes me laugh, but then it also strikes true. Because I have personally learned the most from the school of hard knocks, what works and especially what did not work. Yet, if we look at the most used leadership skills, we find it lacking in our schools, work, churches, and homes. Especially as parents, we usually rely heavily on the first two, exhortation and sometimes explanation, but often we miss the last two of example and experience. If we balanced the learning process by using more example and experience, we would find more apt pupils and encourage more involvement. What we hear is often soon forgotten, what we observe, feel, see, and understand for ourselves becomes our truths deep within. These experiences go deeper into our core and as our inner conscience sees that it does not contradict how we have felt or accepted as truth, it prompts motivational feelings to make positive life changes. If we all we see is lecturing, (Exhortation) we tune out or remember little of what went in one ear and out the other.

To have a positive impact, what happens in our lives beyond the classroom has got to involve firsthand experiences with true principles we accept in our inner core that then become applicable in our lives. These experiences combined with enough explanation to help us truly understand the idea and how it can be applied in our lives and goals will lead us to experiment and what we become can become much more powerful than ideas rambled off in a lecture. Like food or energy, we can store it away for those important moments of stress or opportunity and feel the resurgence of that stored up truth to find powerful motivation for action from what we have laid away into character building strength.


Six Great Ideas for setting goals.

Nelson Mandela once said to someone who called him a saint. “I am not a saint, unless you think of a saint as a sinner who keeps on trying.” When making goals, we need to quit focusing on our failures of the past. No one is perfect, so if we realize that every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future, we can focus on what is most important, the future of our family, friends and those who are closest to us. 


If you are ready to get motivated, here are some ideas to start setting goals. (Not New Year’s resolutions that get thrown out with the first break down) 

If you don’t know where to start, here are six ideas that I am trying and have found very powerful. They are general in nature, so take some time and look within yourself to tweak or adapt to yourself and write down some thoughts.

  1. Decide today to be a better Husband, wife, son, daughter/family member.
    2. Decide today to be kind to others. 
    3. Decide today to listen to others. 
  2. Decide today to build your wealth and become more financially independent! 
    5. Decide today to be fit for life by taking daily small steps! 
    6. Decide today to keep a journal or life history for posterity and friends. 

Whatever your goals, keep in mind that true lasting happiness involves those you love, not just yourself.  

Martin Luther King said: “The ultimate measure of a man is not where they stand in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy. The true neighbor will risk his position, prestige, and even his life for the welfare of others. In dangerous valleys, he will lift some bruised and beaten brother to a higher and more noble life.” Start with your spouse and family. 

Now while your mind is working and ideas as flowing, write down your goals. Remember, a goal not written is only a wish. Take some moments to ponder, write and get started.

Don’t get discouraged. The number one problem that gets in each of our ways is when we fail to achieve a goal or miss a day, we quit! So here is a golden rule for Goals. “The two most powerful warriors are patience and time.”~ Leo Tolstoy 

I believe in the above quote fully but even though success may not come overnight, don’t let that excuse lead you to procrastinate. I have rationalized this in my own life thinking that as I put off things that I know will help me succeed, if it doesn’t happen soon, I often stick it on the back burner until it becomes forgotten. We need to know that it takes time and just be patient. 

We need to find something that will lift us daily to stay motivated. I like to think of this as meat marinates and becomes more flavorful, we must marinate in motivation or inspirational things that will help us to stay focused and do it daily. I have a routine to start each day. It includes listening to a podcast or a book on tape while I exercise. Then reading, pondering, and then writing. I try to do this each morning but on Saturdays, or other days that break my daily schedule, if I skip my routine, I notice it becomes an unproductive or lazy day. The next day, I get right back into marinating in motivation, and find myself being more productive and feeling fulfilled with my daily goals. 

Be careful to not let wishes masquerade as goals. We can dream our life away without making much progress. So, set deadlines for your goals and find someone you trust to report and be accountable to. Without a follow through plan, or a return and report process, your goals become wishes that like fishes will soon swim away. It has been said: “When performance is measured, performance improves. When performance is measured and reported, the rate of improvement accelerates” (-Thomas Monson)

It’s always great to take time to smell the roses and find moments of quiet meditation. Don’t mistake stress for a driving ambition. Remain balanced in the 4 main areas. Social, physical, educational, and spiritual. Your subconscious mind works better when given a break from a heavy task, so just keep it in the back of your mind, and let it motivate you forward as you return and report.